Conversations about money can feel tender. It carries stories of survival, struggle, inheritance, privilege, responsibility, and longing. So when you're invited to discern if the standard rate for a service works for you—especially a service that touches the heart or soul—it can stir up all sorts of things.  

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How do you decide what feels right to pay?

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This is not a math problem with a single correct answer. It's an invitation into discernment. And like any good discernment, it calls for honesty, spaciousness, and a intentional attention. Deciding what you pay may be more important than the amount you pay.

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Whether you're navigating a pay-what-you-can or sliding scale for spiritual direction, bodywork, coaching, or any soul-tending practice, here’s a gentle guide to help you listen inward.

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1. Begin with the Body

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Start by taking a breath. Feel your feet on the ground. Notice your body’s response as you consider the question: What feels just, right, and good to pay for this offering?

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Sometimes we think we have to figure it out with our minds alone. But your body is wise. If you tune in, you might feel a sense of constriction or expansion, heaviness or ease, as you imagine different amounts. Pay attention to that.

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2. Consider Your Means

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Ask yourself honestly:

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• What amount would feel sustainable for me, not just once, but over time?

• Would this payment interfere with my ability to meet essential needs—like housing, food, or medical care?

• Or, am I in a season where I have a little more to give?

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This isn’t about guilt. It’s about alignment. When you name your means with clarity and integrity, you support not just yourself, but the whole ecosystem of care.

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3. Name Your Values

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What is this service worth to you—not just in dollars, but in value? 

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Ask:

• What do I receive here?

• What’s the impact this work has on my life, my relationships, my sense of self or spirit?​

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This isn’t about comparing or justifying. It’s about honoring. And naming value is a sacred act.

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​4. Notice Inner Tension

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Discernment often lives in the space between extremes—not too tight, not too loose. There’s a “just right” middle that may ask something of you, but doesn’t deplete you.

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One wise question to ask is:
What amount would leave me feeling both generous and grounded?

Another:
What would I pay that would allow me to walk away from this exchange with a spirit of gratitude, not regret?

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5. Remember the Bigger Picture

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Sliding scales and pay-what-you-can offerings often function like community-supported ecosystems. When someone pays more, it helps cover the cost for someone else who truly cannot. 

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If you’re able to give above the standard rate, consider it an act of communal love—a contribution to the circle.

If you need to pay less, trust that others have made that possible. 

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Both giving and receiving are sacred.

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6. Let it Be a Living Choice

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You don’t have to get it perfect. In fact, you won’t. Your financial situation might change. Your relationship to the offering might deepen. You might learn more about your own comfort or boundaries.

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Let your decision evolve. You can always adjust what you give.

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A Final Blessing

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May the amount you choose reflect your truth.

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May it align with your resources, honor the value of what you receive, and contribute—if you’re able—to the greater good.

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May it feel like a quiet "yes" in your chest. A whisper of right relationship and financial integrity.