Should My Spiritual Director Be a Leader in my Faith Tradition?

When people first consider spiritual direction, a common question arises: Should My Spiritual Director Be a Leader in my Faith Tradition? Whether that’s a priest, pastor, rabbi, imam, or another faith leader, many traditions encourage people to turn to those in formal religious roles for wisdom and support. If you grew up in a faith community, you might assume that spiritual guidance should come from someone with institutional authority. But that’s not always the case.

Many people today are turning to spiritual directors—trained companions who walk alongside others in their spiritual journeys. Some spiritual directors are clergy, but many are not. Some people seek out spiritual direction because they no longer feel at home in a particular religious tradition. Others want a space where their questions are met with curiosity rather than doctrine. Some simply long for a companion rather than an authority figure.

A religious leader can be a wonderful guide if you’re looking for direction within a specific tradition—someone who can offer theological teaching, scriptural interpretation, or guidance in religious practices. But what if you’re in a season of spiritual questioning? What if you’re not sure where you belong? What if you want to explore spirituality beyond the boundaries of a single faith tradition?

This is where spiritual direction can be so valuable.

What Makes a Spiritual Director Different?

Even religious leaders and ordained ministers often seek out additional training if they want to become formal spiritual directors. While they can certainly provide spiritual assistance within the structure of their religion, spiritual direction is a different kind of presence—one that requires deep listening, open-ended discernment, and the ability to accompany people without prescribing a particular path.

Spiritual direction training programs—offered by seminaries, theological schools, and interfaith organizations—focus on contemplative practice, discernment, and the art of sacred listening. Many clergy members go through the same programs as non-clergy spiritual directors to refine their ability to hold space in this unique way. While a faith leader might be trained to guide people within their religious tradition, a spiritual director (whether ordained or not) is trained to walk alongside people as they explore their spirituality on their own terms.

Addressing Common Concerns

You might be wondering, “Is it really okay to work with a spiritual director who isn’t a religious leader?” This concern is common, especially for those who are used to turning to clergy for spiritual wisdom. Let’s explore a few of these concerns:

“A religious leader is the only one who can give me the answers I need.”

Religious leaders often provide doctrinal clarity, but spiritual direction isn’t about giving answers—it’s about helping you discover your own. A spiritual director, whether ordained or not, is trained to listen deeply, help you uncover your inner wisdom, and support you in making decisions that align with your authentic spiritual path.

“A non-clergy spiritual director can’t understand my tradition like a religious leader can.”

While it’s true that a spiritual director who shares your religious background may have deep knowledge of your tradition, spiritual directors—whether clergy or not—are trained to honor your unique spiritual experience. Their role isn’t to teach doctrine but to help you explore your spirituality in a way that feels authentic to you.

“Only a religious leader can provide me with the authority or wisdom I need.”

Spiritual direction isn’t about authority—it’s about companionship. A good spiritual director, regardless of their background, is a fellow traveler who listens without judgment and offers space for you to reflect. It’s less about telling you what to believe and more about helping you discern your path.

“What if I need more than just spiritual guidance? What if I need my faith leader’s religious support?”

Spiritual direction is focused on the inner journey, while religious leaders often provide sacramental rites, theological instruction, and community-based support. If you need guidance specific to your faith tradition, a religious leader may be the best fit. But if you’re looking for an open and exploratory space, a spiritual director—whether ordained or not—can offer that. Many people choose to have both.

Choosing the Right Guide for You

Ultimately, spiritual direction isn’t about finding the “right” kind of person—it’s about finding the right person for you. Some people thrive with a religious leader as their guide, especially if they’re rooted in a particular tradition. Others find that working with a trained spiritual director outside of traditional clergy roles offers the openness, flexibility, and spaciousness they need to explore freely.

The most important thing? Finding someone who makes you feel seen, heard, and honored in your journey.

If you’ve been curious about spiritual direction outside of traditional religious spaces, I’d love to chat. No pressure, just an open space to explore together.